The Law

is stupid.
But I guess I have to abide by it. For the past couple of months I have been stuck in this weird RMV purgatory.
It all started when I was pulled over at the beginning of April for having an expired registration. Um, I think it was April 1st, and my expiration was March. Hardasses. Anyways, the officer was super nice and just wrote me a citation and told me to take care of it. I was relieved, and I thank you Officer O'Rourke (I'm sure he is a frequent reader of this blog).
So then, like an upstanding law abiding citizen I took a trip to the Worcester RMV. Probably one of the worst smelling places I have EVER visited. At noon on a Friday, it had the aroma of Body odor soaked in whiskey with a dash of rotting fish. I got my ticket and was informed my wait time was about an hour. GREAT. But, like previously mentioned, I just needed to get it taken care of.
After standing in high heels for an hour, trying not to vomit from the smell -it was my turn! They called me, yay, # 584!!! I marched right up to that counter with wrinkled registration in hand and stated my claim. Johnny RMV entered in my info, and looked up at me with a sad face. Kind of like the face my mom would have given me when breaking the news to me of a pet dying. In my head I was like, "really, what now." Or actually I think I may have said that out loud. Whatever I am babbling. Turns out, allegedly, I neglected to pay an excise tax from 2006. 2006!??? I immediately started my rant (even though Johnny RMV was pretty nice). Still. "What do you mean I didn't pay that? I must have, seeing as how I have had no problem renewing my registration for the past three years, what kind of establishment are you running? This is ridiculous." Johnny RMV, being very diplomatic, asked me if maybe I had some sort of proof of payment blah blah blah. Me, not being very diplomatic, said "from 2006 buddy? You gotta be joking." I was unable to renew my registration unless I paid this $120 tax from my past. Bullshit.
With tears welling up in my eyes I left that smelly RMV defeated depressed and angry. A BAD combination.
Okay Charis, suck it up and pay it. I did. Then I went to Ecuador before I had the pleasure to re-visit the Worcester RMV. Upon returning from my amazing trip I received a citation in the mail from my initial pull-over (With officer O'rourke) that he told me I could appeal. It was for $100, and they so nicely tacked on a $50 late fee. Apparently, it ain't Blockbuster. Hello another road block. I hate you law.
I assumed because of this citation, my vehicle was not renewable. And I refuse to pay this $150, so I requested a court date to appeal it. (If you are still reading, I am shocked! Don't worry, we're almost at the end).
So, the past month I have been tooting around Worcesterr in my car afraid for my life. Constantly checking my rear-view mirror every 2.8 seconds. Always going 35 in thickly settled zones, actually pulling over in parking lots when Police cars came in sight. I was just waiting for my appeal to go through, so I could renew. But the inevitable happened yesterday. I was on my way to the doctors for my annual physical at around 2:49 pm and I see blue flashing lights behind me. I was caught. I was (insert four letter word with an "ed" at the end here).
How was I going to explain to this officer my situation. He came up to the window and I just wanted to hand myself over, put my wrists up and say, "I give up, arrest me, take the car, I'm tired of being on the run -you win." Oh yea! I neglected to mention I did not even have a copy of my expired registration in my vehicle. Not goood. So, I took a deep breathe and got my dimples ready. "Hi Officer, it's kind of a long story," he reponded, "I don't want to hear it." Dimples weren't gonna work on this guy (Officer Farver). What else did I have? I had DESPERATION! yay. I quickly told my sad story before he dismissed me again and we were buddies. He presented me with options when he could have just towed my ass. Option one: I write you a citation for operating an ilegal vehicle and for having a crack in your winshield and I tow your car to some obscure bureau of Worcester. Option two: We just tow your car and pay to get it out after I renew. And then we had option three. I LOVE you option three. He said that if I had a cell phone, I could call the RMV and just renew over the phone and he would wait. What? Really? Oh my God, I love you officer Farber. So, while on hold for 30 minutes, he waited until I renewed my registration. I was free to go. The funny part is that I was parked on a cross-walk the whole time. In sum, I love you Worcester police.